Snippets of my condition...

with special thanks to Lauryn Hill for 'kicks in the rights direction'
(After Door No 2...)

Nothing is worse than knowing something I cherished the most has ended. That is was beyond my control and now forever lost. I realise I fell in love with a fantasy, not a reality.

All that I know is gone, all that I was building on.

Whatever changed my love to despair….? Trap laid, I knew him, but not as who he is. He is one-dimensional. Mister Promotional.

Fantasy is what people want but reality is what they need. I’ve retired from fantasy.


I know that a life without love is no life at all. But love without trust, what of that???

The road to hell is filled with good intentions. The only way out is through confrontation, not retreat.

I gotta find peace of mind, in a lasting relationship not based on ownership.


I get out of all your boxes. Can't hold me in your chains and psychological locks. Repressing true emotions. Promoting mass deception. I don’t respect and won't protect your system.

If I have to die to be released from you, that’s how I choose to live.


I won't be compromised anymore. Can't be victimised no more. I just don’t sympathise no more. Coz now I understand. You just wanted to use me. You say you love me and abuse me. You never thought you’d lose me. How quickly we forget that nothing is certain. You thought I’d stay here hurting.

Your guilt trips not working. Repressing me to death. Now I'm choosing life, taking the sacrifice. If everything must go, then go. That’s how I choose to live. No more compromises. I see past your disguises, appealing through mind control, charms and good deeds, trying to make my heart your slave.

I don’t know how to go back, always moving forward. Promises deceived. Time takes care of wounds. Not the type to look back, call it selfish but I'm grateful of it.

These are the hymns of my heart. The core of my being.