Herstory: Colours Of Life

Memories or thoughts shared....

It's common for people to describe me nicely as, "not like anyone else I know".... I have come to happily agree to being a 'freak', hard to describe, or just different.... Imperfection, I see it as something beautiful and honest.... I love what I have become, and have faith in how I will be....

You choose the colours of your life.... Dream. Explore. Discover.

Friday, June 29, 2007

More Bombs

Since my last post, we had an attempted bombing prevented closeby on Friday around 1am. The smoke coming out of the vehicle was noticed by an ambulance officer while attending to a call for a person falling ill, and reported it to authorities. Then during the day, 2-3 more were responded to. I was watching tennis in Wimbledon and having home-cooked dinner with friends from Melbourne (P&J cooked for me and B at their parents' place) while these chaos were happening.

Today, I heard all flights were cancelled from Heathrow Airport, due to more bomb threats. I heard a vehicle with 2 people tried to bomb Glasgow Airport. I was walking around Notting Hill's Portobello Market and trying on clothes in the H&M store in my neighbourhood (both walking distance).

It seems London is currently on high alert.... People are worried about a bomb going off next to them. Im not affected. Not scared at all. How it affects me, I really dont care.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Lonely in London

Im in London now. Lots of people. The place is buzzing. I feel... happy... lonely.

I already made friends, and currently living with 6 other people. My accommodation is also worked out for now. Still no work. I can get temp work straight away, paying minimum wage, but I decided to not work while my friend is here. Might start next Tuesday.

I am yet to receive good service outside a supermarket. Service is rude, especially at fast food areas like Pret and McDonalds.

It's easy to get run over here. Lights blink yellow before it turns green and red. There should be enough time to get across. But it cant be done casually and peacefully. Cars are moving off while its blinking to green! If you're not already in the middle of the road, they'll toot and go very close to you!!

There has been 2 bomb scares around my street already. Someone was stabbed daily, last count was 14. My friend said London is becoming dangerous. Something to look forward to....

Had fun watching Aerosmith... LIVE!!!! In really crappy rainy cold summer weather! It was soooh London! Jet and Joe Satriani also played.

I couldnt believe I was watching Aerosmith! Just before I left USA, I was watching TV about Steve and his daughter, thinking I'd really love to see a performance before they retire. Dream come true.... :-)

Everything is so expensive here, when I convert my moolah$ to pounds. I cringe everytime I have to do something coz the first thing that pops in my mind is, "how much? how *%&# much!!?". My motivation here is to SAVE to travel as much as I can. Gotta balance having an enjoyable experience in London and seeing its neighbouring countries.

My girlfriend B and I went to Primark in Oxford Street. Primark is equivalent to Target and Kmart. Clothes etc were quite cheap! I wanted to buy so many stuff. I stepped out intact, didnt buy anything :-). I dont NEED any of those things. I told myself back home to not buy "junk", continue living like a backpacker (all my belongings to fit in the suitcases I brought), especially after I saw how much stuff is waiting for us in my sister's place. Im doing well, so far....

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Life of Excess and Gigantic Proportions

Long trips from one place to another - California, Nevada and Arizona are definitely driving destinations. America is huge!

I was glad I decided to stick around in the West Coast. Spending most of my time travelling from one place to another, from West to East and back, just didnt appeal to me. I enjoyed having plenty of down time to just be a temporary local and to spent more time meeting and re-acquainting with people I visited.




... I was gonna write many postings, this has been in draft form more than a week now. Just not a priority at the moment, but trying to keep in touch. So, i'll just do it all here in dot points.



  • Hollywood etc was great to see straight away, but it was all too much. Since I dont get a kick out of all the glitz and glamour, I didnt walk around with stars in my eyes. I didnt even wait nor "snapped" stars like Jessica Alba walking on the red carpet when they arrived for their movie premiere. She/They arrived next to where I was standing, but I was outside the red carpet of course. Paparazzis and tourists were going off with their cameras, we walked away.

  • I've put on so much weight constantly eating yummy "good and bad" foods and drinking rootbeer! The loose fitting pants I mentioned in previous post, that were almost falling off me I had to use a belt, it's snug now. No belt required. My ass is already big. Thankfully the weight's decided not to go to my huge breasts coz I dont want any more up there. But dang it, does it have to go to the side, outwards, on my hips!!!? Why wont it go somewhere more proportioned to my body like... my feet, my wrists, or the back of my head??!! ;-P

  • Most meals bought were huge servings, definitely enough for 2 people. It's normal here. You'll love it, get sick of it after a while, then miss it.

  • Not a generalisation, this only happened 3-4 times, but I was called "Oriental" and "Castillian" for the first time. Ahem, not all of Asia is in the Orient, some are even considered 'Islanders'. Are all Spanish from Europe and South/Latin America, whom are not from Mexico, Castillian? Just like blacks are AFRICAN American?? This is one of the quirks I noticed about America. I found it very funny because when I questioned the validity of the term, some people couldnt comprehend. I had to control myself from stirring up those who couldnt understand. It would have been quite rude of me to do so, when most of those strangers were kind enough to make light conversations with me. I put it down to facts like they are not well-travelled, or set in their thinking - following what they heard/learned without question.

  • I loooooove love love Chipotle, but I still prefer Chapalas. I miss Chapalas and the Chowder Bread Bowl!

  • In N Out Burgers

  • San Bernardino National Park - Lake Gregory and Lake Arrowhead

  • I just realised I didnt buy any pretzels and hotdogs from the street stands....!!!!

  • Eating lotsa American, Mexican and Filipino foods

  • Plays, chats, hugs and swimming with my godchild's big brother

  • Letting a young black girl play with my hair while we were at the pool, and vice versa.

  • Teaching my godchild to stick her tongue out :-P heheheh. She got me with one look. I was glad I was there to see her at her age now, instead of older. She gave me lotsa memories about her - diarrhoea/health scare, sleep, cries, laughs, talking, playful screaming, jumping (strong legs), teething, etc.

  • My godchild also made me remember everything I know about infant first aid/CPR while we were eating at Chipotle!! She was sick a few days ago and rushed to a hospital, and given an all clear. In the restaurant though she vomited her milk twice, then while I was holding her up so her mom could change her clothing for the 2nd time, I felt her heaving strongly, stomach crunching hard, like it was doubling over!!! I asked her mom if it was normal (I really didnt know! Im not a mom!!), but mom didnt feel what I was talking about and I was vague so we left it alone. I carried my godchild and she immediately rested her head on my shoulder for the first time and I felt like flying!! I loved it coz she's never done it before. But in the midst of my happiness, I was concerned because it felt like she was slumping more than sleeping. I wasnt used to babies so I didnt want to overreact. A couple of minutes later, she vomited again!!! Vomiting 3 times in 15minutes I thought was traumatic for the child!! It was then my heart was jumped out of my skin, but I kept a calm voice and demeanor, trying not to worry my friend. Still, I kept asking if it was normal. We both didnt know what to do, but I was aware the hospitals were far, and I didnt want my friend to drive feeling panic. I assessed my godchild, she wasnt heaving anymore, just looked tired. Plus we didnt have a cellphone to let her husband know what was happening. So I suggested we go where we were meeting her family, at the children's dental clinic close by. Acting all calm but continuously assessing my godchild, wondering if I made the right suggestion, we headed there. My godchild fell quickly to sleep and I worried she fainted!! Mom was in front driving! I was in the back next to the baby seat! I felt like crying!! I checked her heartbeat, breathing, behaviour, doing it repeatedly to make sure I was reading the signs right, told her mom she was fine. Poor baby was so tired from vomiting she decided to sleep peacefully. But her auntie kept bumping her trying to suss out if she would react!!! :-) By the time we got to the dental clinic I was more convinced (but still panic) that she was fine, and I knew the staff would be able to help if there was an emergency. It was there I took a breath of relief, when the baby looked recuperated from her ordeal about 10minutes later. I dont ever want to be as freaked out as I was then... ever!!! Definitely not looking forward to when my own baby will do it! But I was proud of the fact that I knew how to deal with a worse situation, which thankfully was not the case then.

  • Vegas was 120+ Fahrenheit by 10am!!! Walked around Viva Las Vegas for 2 nights, on route to and back from Grand Canyon. Didnt gamble, fell in line but missed out on "O" (oh well), walked a lot in intense night heat, eventually caught the super-cold Deuce buses to cope. No one working in Las Vegas could remember or point me out to where the "Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas" sign was located. There was so much glitter and lights I forgot about the other thing Vegas was famous for - weddings!!! - until the last night when I passed the chapels heading to the Old Strip.

  • Route 66

  • Twinkies and SnowBalls (pink and white ones)!!

  • Arizona Green Tea

  • Sunset at Grand Canyon. Very nice.... Huge! The next day I did the 7am Cedar Ridge Hike - South Kaibab Trailhead. With a ranger we descended 1,140 feet (347m) below the rim on the unpaved South Kaibab Trail to Cedar Ridge. The steep and strenous 3-mile (5km) hike was not recommended for people with heart or respiratory problems or difficulty walking. Sturdy footwear and 1-2 litres of water per person was required. I was so thankful Kuya Nonoy dropped me off, even though he had to wake up very early in the morning, after driving all day, with the return trip still to worry about.

  • My gorgeous godchild growing before my eyes, and her gorgeous big brother. I became unexpectedly very attached to them. I hated leaving the kids. The whole family is wonderful. Parents are kind hearted, perfect hosts. Thank you.

  • I met their really nice friends too. I really enjoyed myself with them.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Never Spoke To A Parolee Before....

On the way back to Union Station (Los Angeles) from SLO, I had to catch a bus connecting to the Amtrak train leaving from Santa Barbara. The trip was uneventful, until I met "Romeo" (not his real name, but the name he initially gave me, which straight away I thought was not his real name because I knew he was being smooth with me). He later said he introduced himself as Romeo coz since his teens people called him it for being a "romantic".

Romeo was just released from SLO Prison/Penitentiary - I didnt even know there was one there!!??! I know his real name, initials CH (he showed me his ID), Parole ID#13234 (dont know why I remember). He just completed a 4-year term. He told me why he was imprisoned, also something about "3 strikes" and avoiding a 25-year term.

I saw him being escorted into the bus by a lady wearing what looked liked a security uniform; so I quickly scanned his hands/wrists. He wasnt wearing handcuffs so I determined he wasnt considered a threat in the bus.

I didnt scare away from him, looked him in the eye, treated him like everyone else on the bus. I figured if he was a danger, he wouldnt be allowed out with the general public. I just stayed my usual wary yet friendly self with strangers.

He didnt get the courage to talk to me until around 1 hour before we arrived at Union Station. It was a 6.5hour trip. I was wondering why he was always fluttering around my line of sight. I knew he checked me out, but I didnt realised he was doing it since our bus ride. I wasnt paying attention. He explained that he was wary of approaching me as he wasnt sure if I was only 16years old, it was hard to tell my age. He's 41 years old, if I remember correctly, but looked 10 years younger. I considered him very good looking with a nice, strong muscly-looking body. He also mentioned he was a little excited to talk to ladies, since he didnt get to see them much, while in prison.

I did sense he was more nervous to approach me. Thinking back now, he did several double takes, kept walking past, even stood close to my seat for a few minutes, before eventually talking to me. Funny that. A "huge and intimidating black guy" (a description he gave of himself) was acting unsure around little shy-looking me... :-).

As an ice breaker, he asked about my hiking shoes. Then he showed me 2 hummingbird bead necklaces which his cellmate made for him. I was completely blown away with the skill and workmanship!!!! I had to really bite my tongue to stop asking for it. I dont think Romeo would have given it to me if I asked, but I still think about it now, still wanting it. I really really really really really want it. The materials were simple but it was absolutely beautiful. ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL.

Anyway, after we determined I was not available/interested in the first 5 minutes, we had quite an entertaining and curious conversation. He was honest from the start that he just left the prison. As I mentioned, I was never scared... a little wary of course, a natural self preservation reaction, but stayed assertive/confident. Three male conductors were also constantly passing by our carriage, and there were plenty of people on the train in broad daylight.

We talked about many topics, but mainly revolving around why Asian and Caucasian women seem to shirk away from Black men, and why American women seem to have an "attitude", unlike how I was. I said I cant speak for American women and American customs/lifestyles, but I commented on first impressions, why women react the way they do (personalities etc) and what I know of general cultural differences.

The main thing I got from our conversation was the difference in interaction between Americans of various races and Australians of various races. Also, a personal observation, too many times now, I've noticed black guys like my "strong thighs" and "butt"... (I dont know how hard Romeo looked to see it past my ass-covering jacket and very loose jeans...) hhhmmm... just felt like sharing that.... ;-P.

He talked about how when he was younger he chose his girlfriends because they were pretty or awesome in bed. It didnt lead him to much, sometimes even got him into trouble. So he is now considering a decent partner with more brains. Then he showed me some correspondences and photos he received while in prison from women in another country. The women's photos were full body shots, they were wearing only their underwear, or just their panties while covering their breast with an arm. He received the photos through a paid agency.

I laughed and told him how he was contradicting himself. Sure there could be quality exceptions in the pool of ladies available from the agency he contacted, but if he was looking for the type of ladies he mentioned to me, he was definitely looking at the wrong place. You had to see the photos to really get why I made such a statement. Since he was in prison (not exactly a catch, unless he improves himself in the future, only time will tell), with limited access to things/technology, he could only rely on those businesses/agencies to give him some hope or possibility of a female companion. We discussed supply and demand (his and the scantily clad ladies from generally conservative cultures). I also mentioned he may not be able to travel because of his parole, but if he does travel to those countries to "check out the ladies", he'd definitely have a lot of fun, as one of the many guys who travel for the sex industry.

We talked about his children, girls who are old enough to be my friends. This convinced me not to ask for the hummingbird necklaces. I assumed he was planned to give them to his daughters.

Our chats were so comfortable he also eventually informed me of his future (business) plans. I hope he pursues what we talked about. He had some good dreams/plans. He just needs to get past only talking about it, and making stupid decisions, especially since he is old enough to know better. I think I gave him a few insights to think about. I'd love to see him change his life path for the better. And apologize to Victor W from Seattle (this apology has nothing to do with his imprisonment, instead a personal thing that still bugged him)....

Near the end of our train ride he complimented 'how I was' (oozing in magnetism, sexiness and confidence of course... not exactly what he said, but this is what my HUGE head heard!! ;-)... hehehe). I guess he found it attractive. He knew we were not likely to meet again. We didnt exchange contact details, so there was no gain in stating it further. It was nice of him to make a point of mentioning it. I was embarrassed... but thankful.

What did I get from our meeting??? First, it was nice to hear that I was good in the way I clearly stated my intentions to someone, keeping the boundaries clear, for example, "I am not flirting, just teasing". I've had (and I know will continue to have) problems with my friendliness being easily misunderstood by some people as flirting. I am convinced it is dependent on how much malice or interest such people have(!??). I have been told many times before that the fault is in me, in my personality. It affected me before, but I have realised it is not true. I treated and reacted to both males and females the same way. My sense of humour was delivered the same to either gender. Secondly, that I am HOT!! Heheheh (ahem). Thirdly, now I know that not only am I confident and capable enough to handle certain situations, but I am also able to project such... strength.

Negative analysis? Only one - that I still smile too much, too overly friendly to strangers. My "passing only" smiles I've been told is eye-catching that people warm up to it quickly, even though I've already moved on. Should I do anything about it?? I dont know, it's what makes me, me!

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Life in the Fast and SLO Lane

Once my passport came back with the required visa, within the space of 5 days, I hurriedly:
  • booked my ticket, waitlisted
  • said my goodbyes
  • left work (as previously organised)
  • boxed and stored my belongings
  • threw out heaps of stuff
  • sold most of our expensive appliances at dirt cheap prices
  • bought a laptop with stupid microsoft vista on it (nothing installs properly, like my webcam because I bought it before vista was introduced!) which is too much hassle when it's supposed to make things convenient for me!!!
  • changed address and/or closed accounts for utilities, telco, internet, etc
  • barely slept or had a moment's rest
  • paid for my confirmed flights, then
  • flew to California the next day, to start my trip.

Tired and restless I flew for about 16hours to LAX. I didnt sleep much in the plane, only a combined total of 2.5hours of hard earned eyeshuts. I was in Los Angeles 0955 hours, caught the bus to Union Station, then Amtrak to San Luis Obispo (SLO) where I managed a 45minutes powernap, arriving fully alert at the train station approximately 2130 hours. We did the obligatory quick tour around the city, then chatted at home.

The next day around 0730hours my friend and I headed for San Francisco, along Big Sur (Hway 101?). I bought my new Alcatraz t-shirts, walked/drove around, ate a late lunch, then headed back, arriving home around 2100 hours. Another long day. Slept like a baby.

Then I enjoyed a nice SLO life - half pretend local, half curious tourist. For those who dont know SLO, Cayucos, Los Osos, Pismo Beach and Morro Bay are along the coast, halfway between LA and San Fran. If I didnt know anyone there, I would never have gone. I was really glad I visited the area.

I dont want to write a detailed account of my experience from the time I was heading there to when I left, so I'll just give highlights or memorable moments:

  • The nice flight stewardess whom gave me an eye shade, which helped to shut up the guy sitting across the aisle whom eventually tried to flirt with me. I thought he was gay while we were having a nice introductory chat, then he became an annoying male ;-).
  • Baileys on ice for breakfast, around 4am LA time on the plane, with my new Austrian friend sitting next to me.
  • I met 2 nice ladies along the way (Michelle while waiting for my train, and another older lady in the train) with whom I had great fleeting conversations on topics related to US/Californian culture, history and geography. Only 1 family heading to Santa Barbara on the Amtrak was a little snotty, didnt waste my time on them.
  • I saw dolphins, seals, and does. One such 'bambi' freaked me out while I was bikeriding alongside cars running 55miles plus an hour, coz it jumped in the bushes next to me and I thought it was a lion!! Good thing I didnt panic! But the beachcruiser bike I was using wobbled and probably stressed the cars alongside me at the time.
  • Dorothy - nice yellow (and black) "girl" (car)
  • Poop top rocks/mountains along the coast - they looked nice :-)
  • Big Sur scenery and drive (highly recommended)
  • I never imagined California would remind me of Melbourne and The Great Ocean Road and the towns along it. All I knew of the area was San Fran and LA (busy cities). It was great to experience more laidback and mellow towns.
  • I miss Chapalas already!! :-(
  • Splash Cafe's Bread Bowl (clam chowder)
  • Saltwater taffy
  • Reese peanut butter cups!
  • Morro Bay Cinema and the hunchback ;-P
  • The beachcruiser bike lent to me - I wish I have my own!! I love it!
  • Hide and seek with Beans
  • Dogs' ears (Lola and Bernard?)
  • Walking around alone in Cayucos
  • Bikeriding alone around hilly Morro Bay (Morro Bay Rock), Los Osos and the 2 state parks next to them - Montana and Morro State Parks?? It was a very windy day.
  • Amtrak arriving 10 minutes EARLY in Los Angeles!!!!? I was told it's always late....
  • Seeing my friend and her family there waiting for me. My godchild is sooh cute!!